I'm tired!
“I’ll refresh tired bodies; I’ll restore tired souls.”
Jeremiah 31:25 MSG
Look at this silly Sylvia! Do feelings, or memories, rise up in your heart when you look at her, hung over in weariness and hunger? (She had spent the morning playing dolls with a friend; it's a hard life, right?)
Oh goodness. Pure exhaustion at the age of 6. Total defeat in not finding her snack of choice. Seeing her bent in the middle, arms heavy, all weight in her forehead, balanced on the freezer handle; memories came flooding back of times in my own life when I felt I would buckle under exhaustion and exasperation.
I wanted to share a few of the memories that came rushing in for me:
--Sitting on the living room floor and calling my mom to “please come now” after Amera cried for 90% of her first night home from the hospital. (Reflux medicine saved our lives.)
--Scarfing down a banana muffin while I stood at the kitchen table, exhausted from pumping, and then feeding and changing our 4 pound babies. With small to no hopes for a 20 minute nap before it all started again. (Meals from friends were such a blessing.)
--Three, 3 month olds screaming in the living room, and me calling out the door to my dad as he walked through the yard to “please come in and help.” (He didn’t know where crop scouting was going to land him that day.)
--That day we started potty training, and the 11 trips to the bathroom, between the 3 girls, in 30 minutes, while I was 7 months pregnant. (I decided we would let them lead on the potty training; it did not have to be on my timing.)
--Standing at the fridge and looking at an empty spot where the milk should be, while nursing a newborn and trying to hold back three, thirsty, 3 year olds. (Can you believe they had to survive on water for a whole 12 hours?)
Just the thought brings on a wave of fatigue. Our sleep has improved. But my body remains tired. My soul may just really be in the beginning stages of weariness (adolescence anyone?).
I believe God's promise. My body will be refreshed and my soul will be restored. In the meantime, I'll be hanging out at the freezer!
A tired and hungry Sylvia, June 2023.
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